Void
by Diva Urd
Summary: The journey is long over, but not all travelers have made it back home. Especially one of the survivors suffers from the empty space left inside of him. Character death. Completed in 3 chapters.
1. Visit

Hello! 

Well, here I am again... it has been a while. I finally got to watch all of _Gensoumaden Saiyuki_, all of _Saiyuki Reload_, and read the first _Gaiden_ manga. I hope to be better informed now than I was when I wrote "Identity Crisis".

For those of you who are waiting for me to fulfill my promise of a sequel, I have to admit that I am pretty sure by now that there will not be one. However, I might write some companion pieces at some point. I do feel by now that well-written 39 and 58 pairings are more my cup of tea, but that doesn't mean 38 is totally out of the picture for me! ;-)

The other stories I have planned as of now will mostly not have any pairings, just some hints here and there for those who want to read them into it. One story planned will involve a het pairing. However, I still want to write a nice 39 story and am currently scanning through the material again. Let's see whether I can come up with something nice!

**DISCLAIMER: **Saiyuki and its characters belong to Minekura-sama. I'd like to own them, but I don't, so I'll just borrow them for this little fanfic. Please don't sue me, I don't have anything!

**WARNINGS:** Massive angst, character death! Will probably be depressing (if I didn't screw up, that is).

Special thanks to Zelgadis55, who is betaing this story for me.

Have Fun! 

VOID

CHAPTER 1

Bare grey walls – that was all they could see when they made their way through the large entrance hall to the reception desk. A rather gloomy environment for what would most likely turn out to be yet another depressing visit.

The man behind the desk glanced up at them expectantly. He was a new face in these halls, otherwise he would have remembered them from previous occasions.

"We are here to see our friend. Room number 16."

Understanding lit up the reception clerk's face.

"Oh, you are...! May I thank you for what you have done for all of us and express my condolences for your..."

One of the two men cut him of with an abrupt gesture.

"Yeah, thanks. Now let's go, I want to get this over with."

The other man shot the speaker a reprimanding look, but there was sympathy in his voice when he spoke.

"Gojyo, please don't be rude. This is hard for both of us, but he deserves to be visited once in a while until he... gets better."

Then, he turned his attention to the clerk, who was now leading them through the hallways to their destination.

"Please excuse my friend's rudeness. We are not fond of the memories these visits bring up in us."

The man nodded and shortly after that stopped in front of a strong wooden door with the number '16' engraved on a small metal sign on it.

"Here we are, gentlemen," he said. "I must warn you – lately, his fits of rage have become more frequent. He has been known to throw objects at people when they entered his room. I trust that you can subdue him by yourself, should the need arise. I'll leave you now."

And with that, he handed them a key and walked back in the direction from where they had come.

Gojyo sighed.

"Well, Hakkai, you ready to do this?" he asked quietly and with false eagerness.

The other man shook his head sadly.

"I will most likely never be ready for it, but we have to do it. We are still his friends. Let's go."

He put the key into the lock of the door and turned it. The door opened with a slight creaking sound.

The room was as sterile as the rest of the building. No pictures on the wall, no curtains at the windows. There were a simple table, a rickety chair and a bunk. An ashtray on the table was overflowing with ashes and the remains of countless cigarettes. The misty miasma of cold smoke in the air indicated that most of those cigarettes had been smoked in the last day or two.

And in the far corner, next to the window, stood the person they had intended to visit. His face was in the shadow, yet another cigarette glowing between his fingers.

They had always been able to tell when he had looked at them – but the uncomfortable yet strangely reassuring feeling that his gaze always had invoked was long gone.

'Maybe it is better if he stays there.' The thought came unbidden to Hakkai's mind. The piercing, scrutinizing glare had been replaced by dull anger, directed at no one in particular. It was painful to behold. Better for him to stay in the shadows...

Sanzo had been here for over a year now. Twelve months, with Gojyo and him visiting twice every month. They had brought him here when he had nearly strangled a bartender who had been cutting him off further drinks because he had wanted to close for the night. But that had not been the beginning of the matter.

'Ever since we got back home, he has been even more aggressive than usual,' Hakkai remembered. 'We thought he would get over it, that it was just a reaction to his loss...'

How wrong they had been!

They had hoped that this institution would help the monk to subdue his homicidal tendencies. But instead of better, Sanzo had gotten progressively worse. He had physically attacked the people who brought him food and took to his regular "rain brooding" more and more frequently, even if there was no cloud in sight. Up to two months ago, he had still talked to them during their visits, although his words usually consisted of "Go away!" and various epithets. But since then, he had not said a word anymore, neither to him and Gojyo nor to the people who worked here.

Hakkai sat down on the bed, and the kappa made himself as comfortable as possible on the chair, lighting a cigarette. Although the healer knew that it was futile to attempt a conversation, he smiled at the figure in the corner.

"Hello, Sanzo. How are you today?"

As expected, the monk did not answer. The only sound he emitted was that of teeth grinding against each other.

Gojyo, who had just released another puff of smoke into the stale air of the room looked over to his friend, and although he did not shake his head, the look in his scarlet eyes got the message across. 'Don't. No matter how hard you try, you will only aggravate him', his glance seemed to convey.

They continued to sit in silence for the remainder of the visit. After what seemed like an eternity, somebody knocked on the door. The sign to leave.

When Hakkai and Gojyo left the room, they did not even try to say "Good Bye". It was no use anyway.

**---**

Outside, the sun shone brightly, mocking their desolate mood with its warming rays. The day of visits was not quite over yet.

They walked down the same roads as they usually did after a visit with Sanzo, both of them silent. When Hakkai stopped in front of the regular flowershop to make a purchase, Gojyo broke the ritual to quietly say,

"Do we really have to go _there_ today, as well?"

A fervent nod as response, followed by, "We made a promise, and I intend to keep it."

And that was the end of the matter.

On the way to their destination, they passed the statue – another reminder of better days. The likenesses of four young men, ready to take on everybody and everything that stood in their way... it seemed to have been decades ago. And the depressing fact that the facial features of one of the four depicted heroes had not been executed quite right, since nobody had been there to pose for it, did nothing to lighten their spirits, either.

Finally, they reached the small cemetery where their other visit would take place. A visit with a small, white gravestone, the place where the body of their lost comrade was resting in eternal peace, while his soul would go on to reincarnate in a new vessel.

There, Hakkai unwrapped the single white rose he had bought, and placed it on the soft earth of the grave.

He had sacrificed his own life to save Sanzo, and possibly Hakkai and Gojyo, as well.

None of them had ever predicted a happy end to their journey. Yet all of the remaining travellers felt the pain of loss, maybe even more so because it had been necessary. And clearly, the one they had expected to heal fastest had taken it the worst.

There had been a happy end for Tougenkyou, but not for those who had saved it.

After a few moments of paying their respects to their friend, Hakkai spoke up. His voice had a strangely rough quality to it.

"Sanzo misses you, Goku. If it is in your power, wherever you are now, please do something to ease his pain."

Unshed tears began to burn in Gojyo's crimson eyes, and it was all he could do to keep them from welling up in his eyes and running down his cheeks. On their journey, he had considered the monkey to be little more than a nuisance, and yet he found that he missed the energetic, always-hungry youth terribly.

_Sanzo misses you_. The hanyou supposed that was the only explanation for the condition of the monk. The imperturbable priest, quick of temper and pulling the trigger on friend and foe alike when enraged, had lost a person who he had spent years with. A friend, a companion, maybe even something like a son, although their ages differed by only a few years, according to their appearance. Their lives had been in peril numerous times, but Sanzo had probably never seriously thought about the possibility of losing Goku. He had most likely suspected that the boy would somehow always be there. So, Gojyo had to admit, had he.

And now... the monk's aggression had reached a level that was truly frightening to witness. While on their way to Tenjiku, he had been raging quite frequently as well, but never as much as now. The main difference was that a life did not seem to matter to him anymore. If he still had his gun and was provoked enough, he would not bother to make sure that his bullet missed. Fortunately, the wards at the institution had taken the shoureijuu from him when he was admitted.

Then again... there was one instance on their journey west where they _had_ witnessed Sanzo in a mindset virtually identical to the one he now frequently displayed.

The desert castle, the female youkai who had already eaten another Sanzo and obviously did not care that she had supposedly been immortal already... _he had beaten her to a pulp. They had seen how he had kicked her into the stomach repeatedly, his violet eyes staring, his face twisted in an insane grin. He did not use his gun to dispose of her, as he had with countless other enemies – he deliberately wanted to cause pain, to maim her before he finally killed her..._

And then, Goku had run to him, had told Sanzo to hit _him_ instead, had told him to call him a "stupid ape", but to stop beating up the youkai woman. And the monk had listened and ceased his assault.

But now, there was no Goku anymore to help him out of the rage he was caught in, to provide an outlet for Sanzo to vent the feelings couped up inside of him...

Gojyo started when Hakkai's hand came to rest on his shoulder. It was time to go home.

'Goku... Hakkai is right. Somehow, you and the bouzu completed each other. You lived out what he couldn't, or wouldn't. And although he rarely showed how much he cared for you, now that you're gone, he is in agony. If you can, please help him.'

He gave the white headstone a last solemn nod, and turned around. Their visits were done for today.

**-------------------------**

Here you go – Chapter 1 done! There will be three chapters in all to this story (I planned in advance this time). Please drop me a line and tell me what you think!


	2. Remembrance

**DISCLAIMER: **Saiyuki and its characters are property of Kazuya Minekura and the respective distributing companies, and I do not intend to make money with her work.

**WARNINGS: **Angst, Character Death.

**SPECIAL THANKS **to Zelgadis55, who has betaed this chapter.

Author's notes can be found at the bottom.

----------------

VOID

----------------

CHAPTER 2

----------------

He was relieved when his visitors had finally left – not that he knew why they kept visiting him in the first place.

Long, pale fingers clamped down on his temples, as if they could somehow reach inside and take the pain away, the pain which was a constant reminder that he had not only lost his charge and comrade-in-arms, but a part of himself.

Goku's presence had been with him ever since he could remember. Sure, it had grated on his nerves quite often, but it had also been a calming influence when he needed it to be, had soothed his nerves when he was about to do something he would certainly regret later.

And now it was gone, and with it the relative equilibrium he had been able to maintain on the journey. Yes, he had thought of Koumyou Sanzo once in a while, and he had unleashed a lot of the anger he harbored on the countless youkai trying to attack them... but he had also experienced placid, even happy moments. Now, with two deaths on his conscience and the emptiness clawing at his sanity, it was unlikely that he would ever be able to feel happiness again.

All that was left was anger – anger that was mostly directed at himself for not being able to protect somebody he had cared about yet again. But a considerable part of his resentment was also directed at the citizens of Tougenkyou, all those small, insignificant people who were celebrating that the threat of Gyuumaou and all the youkai losing their composure had been stopped, yet apparently did not give a damn about the sacrifices their saviors had had to make on their long journey. It was disgusting. If it were in his power to sacrifice them in order to return Goku to life, he would do it. Gladly.

_No._

They had a right to be content. Fulfilling this task had been all about them being able to live peacefully once again. The four travellers had known from the outset that not all of them might return from their journey alive.

And yet...

Those people had not even known him, who had been imprisoned in a cave on a mountain for 500 years, to experience the joys of life for a less than a decade before death claimed him. He, who by simply enjoying life had brightened Sanzo's own, lifted it up from the dull everyday routine at the temple. When Goku still had been with him, he would have rather bitten his tongue off and swallowed it before admitting that fact, even to himself. Now, only the ashen taste of regret was left.

Unbidden, the memories welled up to the surface of his mind again, recalling the day two years ago when it had happened...

_After a journey filled with hardships and battle, they finally arrived at Houtou Castle. Not a minute too early, it seemed – when they finally fought their way through to the large hall sheltering the steel colossus which contained the sealed body of Gyuumaou, they found out that, somehow, someway, their enemies had found a way to commence with the revival experiment without using the Maten sutra. It did not really matter how they had managed – what was important was that the procedure had already begun. The youkai king was about to awaken to a world he had been kept from for half a millennium._

_Red filaments of light licked over the machine, infusing it with the necessary energy to break the seal of the Gods. Once in a while a flare of energy struck the floor of the hall, burning anything that was unlucky enough to occupy that spot. The woman who had introduced herself as Gyokumen Koushu stood at the controls of the mechanism, close, but still too far away to reach her in time to stop her from doing anything, and her high-pitched laughter filled their ears._

_Kougaiji, Yaone and Dokugakuji stood on the opposite side of the room; their eyes were strangely empty... brainwashing, most likely. Why else would they attack, when Lirin, surrounded by four of the Holy Scriptures and a strange-looking crystal that apparently somehow replaced the fifth, hung suspended in mid-air, unconscious, being abused as a battery to fuel the revival?_

_This time, they would fight to the death. There would be no retreat, no quarter, no second prize. Either, the experiment would be stopped, or they would die in this very room._

_Goku, Gojyo and Hakkai had taken to fighting their regular opposites, while the monk was trying to get to the controls without getting incinerated. If he managed to stop the machine, there would be no second try – the person responsible for the setup, a man who had called himself Nii Jenyi although Sanzo had known him under a different name long ago, had been killed by him on their way to this room._

_He pointed the shoureijuu at Gyokumen._

_"Shut it off, or you die."_

_The youkai woman just grinned at him, reached out for one of the levers on the control panel..._

_... and pushed it all the way up, so hard that it broke off. A look of triumph shone on her face as she mockingly waved with the piece she still held in her clawed hand._

_The red light glowed brighter, and Sanzo had to dodge a whole barrage of hot energy shooting towards him. He threw himself to the right and fired. Gyokumen Koushu fell backwards, a bloody hole gaping in her forehead._

_There was no time to be lost – the steel sarcophagus began to shake with a force that came from the inside. Gyuumaou was awakening._

_After what seemed like a lifetime, Sanzo finally made it up to the controls and had to discover that the mechanism could not be turned off from here anymore – the broken lever had controlled the energy flow, and it was impossible to move it. However, maybe he was close enough..._

_He began reciting the words to activate the Maten sutra. Hopefully, it was not too late._

_"Makai Tenjo!"_

_The Holy Scripture extended, wrapped around the upper part of the steel colossus – and was reflected by the energy flaring around it._

_"Shit..."_

_He gritted his teeth, studying the controls again... there had to be some sort of emergency shutdown on this thing!_

_Suddenly, he heard his name called, and a body collided with his, knocking him off the platform. He looked up and saw _Goku being hit by a devastating beam of red energy, his body writhing in the crackling energy, his hair and clothes catching fire, emitting a cry of pain and defeat before he was catapulted back, hitting the wall and sliding down, eyes open but unseeing...

_... and the connection that had been there ever since he could remember, the band tying him and the boy together, snapped._

_A fury that he had never before experienced rose within him – there was no room in his sight for the unconscious Kougaiji sprawled on the floor, for Dokugakuji and Yaone still fighting Gojyo and Hakkai. He did not hear his comrades shouting Goku's name, the whine of energy increasing in volume. All he saw was the body lying close by, all he heard was the endless silence of the void within him..._

_Without registering what he was doing, he chanted the words to send the sutra out again, his tongue creating syllables filled with pure malice._

_Even before he cried out the final words, the Maten sutra began to glow in a blinding white, fueled by the overwhelming anger that engulfed him. He never noticed; his vision was tainted by a red haze._

_"MAKAI... TENJO!!!"_

_With a flash, the ends of the scripture shot towards the machine again. The red energy surrounding it did not manage to deflect it this time; the sutra bored its way through the protecting cocoon, and cracks began to appear in the giant apparatus. The ground trembled violently, the floor began to break and open into wide chasms – and the steel colossus began to slowly collapse into itself._

_Shortly after that, the world went white._

He had come to a few days later, lying in a bed in a shabby inn, bandaged from head to toe. Hakkai and Gojyo were there, severely injured as well, but not as incapacitated as he was. And Goku was gone.

He had learned from Hakkai that Kanzeon Bosatsu had intervened before the castle collapsed around them, transporting them outside. After the healer and Gojyo had insisted that the body of the boy be taken care of, she had agreed to bring it back to Chang'an for a proper burial and had left shortly afterwards.

The journey back had not taken them nearly as long as the way to Tenjiku, since there had been no more youkai attacks or ambushes. He had decided to travel in clothes that would not give away his rank so he would not be troubled by insignificant people wanting him to do something for them.

The days had flown by. Nobody had spoken much. Food and sleep had been no luxury anymore, but a despised necessity. He had tried to banish the loss of Goku from his mind, but had found that it was impossible to deny the silence where before there had been aggravating noise. He had tried to mourn for his charge, but had found that his soul was all but empty and stubbornly refused to heal to this day.

Hakkai and Gojyo did not blame him for Goku's death, even though it had been caused by his recklessness. They insisted that, in fact, his sacrifice might have been necessary for them to succeed. Had Sanzo's fury not fueled the power of the scripture in his second attack of the apparatus, they might well all be dead by now, and Gyuumaou would have roamed Tougenkyou once again. _Fate_, they had called it – as if that excused everything.

He should have been able to channel his energy into the sutra without having to see the boy die. He should have been able to do something – _anything _– to deactivate the machine before Goku had had to save his life because he had not paid attention to his surroundings. There had been a different way to defuse the situation, there _must _have been, but he had been too blind to see it.

He knew that sometimes, the boy had referred to him as "his sun". What good was a sun without a planet to shine its rays upon?

For the first time in his life, Genjo Sanzo desperately wished he were capable of relieving his pain by crying for that which he had lost. But his own barriers, which had always served to wall up the feelings inside of him, prevented the tears from falling. He did not deserve salvation.

His fingers extinguished the burnt-down stub of his cigarette by crushing it in the pile already filling up the ashtray, and he turned back towards the window. A man, hollow inside, with no hopes of ever feeling whole again.

The last Sanzo priest of the mortal realms. And his task was finished.

---------------------------------

Ooofff... it has taken me quite a bit of work to write this chapter without letting it fall into the "so angsty, it is cheesy"-trap – or at least I hope I managed to keep it out of there for the most part. Comments, whether they be praise or constructive criticism, are appreciated.

My thanks to those of you who have reviewed the story!


	3. Farewell

This is the final chapter of "Void". I have researched Chinese customs and Buddhist ceremonies to get the mentioned details right; if I should have made a mistake, please notify me of it, and I shall gladly edit to achieve greater authenticity.  
  
**DISCLAIMER:** Saiyuki and its characters are property of Kazuya Minekura and the respective distributing companies, and I do not intend to make money with her work.  
  
**WARNINGS:** Angst, Character Death.  
  
**SPECIAL THANKS** to Zelgadis55, who has betaed this chapter and has been a great help overall.  
  
Further Author's notes can be found at the bottom.  
  
----------------  
VOID  
----------------  
CHAPTER 3  
----------------  
  
It was another mockingly sunny, yet cool day when Gojyo and Hakkai decided to pay their respects. The official mourning period of 49 days was over, so the youkai and the hanyou hoped they would be able to avoid any masses of people at the temple cemetery. Although it was proper to wear normal clothes again, they were still clad in white – the color of death. A small black piece of cloth pinned to their shirts signified that they had experienced a personal loss.  
  
They found that people had indeed gone back to their everyday lives when they arrived at the small graveyard – aside from a few monks minding their own business, the place was deserted. After passing some quite impressive and well-tended graves of great minds passed away long ago, they finally arrived at a simple headstone engraved with nothing but a name, laden with wilting flowers. _Genjo Sanzo._  
  
When Hakkai and Gojyo had visited the monk nearly four months ago, they had not known that it would be the last time they would see him alive. Two weeks later, they had been told that, regrettably, their companion refused to receive any further visits. What they hadn't been told was that Sanzo still did not touch the food brought to him – he had not accepted anything but a jug of water a day. Even his regular delivery of cigarette cartons had remained outside the door as they were left. The people of the institution had obviously taken all that for a good sign – they had assumed that the monk had been engaging in spiritual fasting and recitation of prayers, since they had heard him muttering whenever they passed his door.  
  
They had been wrong.  
  
After a month of 'fasting', they had become suspicious that this had not been the intention of the priest, and had left food again. It had remained untouched. One of the servants had even tried to enter his room and place the food on the table - and received various small injuries for daring to cross into Sanzo's territory. There was nothing they had been able to do.  
  
Barely two weeks after that, all sound from room number 16 had ceased.  
  
And another week later, a young acolyte had come from the monastery to ask for their personal appearance...  
  
_When they were led straight in front of the Abbot, they knew that something grave had taken place, and that it most likely involved Sanzo. Even Gojyo, who had quipped about the blonde having left the institute and them having to find him, knew that it was nothing so harmless when the old man greeted them very sternly and bid them to sit down.  
  
After they had folded their legs under them, the Abbot wasted no time and said, without preamble,  
  
"Your friend, Genjo Sanzo, has passed away four days ago."  
  
Even though they had somewhat expected this kind of message, the finality of it rendered them silent. The old monk patiently waited until one of them spoke up. Finally, Hakkai managed to ask, "Can we see him?"  
  
The Abbot nodded.  
  
"That is why I have summoned you here. He is to be cremated soon, the priests have done their initial chanting and are in silent prayer now. To my knowledge, you were the closest thing he had to a family, so it is only proper for you to see him once more before his body is given to the flames. Come with me, I shall lead you to him."  
  
Gojyo and Hakkai got up, following him out of the room and through a long hallway.  
Neither of them spoke; their thoughts were filled with grief, with guilt at not having been able to prevent their companion's death.  
Finally, the old man stopped in front of a simple wooden door.  
  
"Here it is."  
  
The door swung open with a small creak that nevertheless seemed like sacrilege to them. The smell of smoke hovered in the air, the only thing remaining of the incense and paper slips burned to grant the soul easy passage into the realms of Death.  
  
And on an altar-like table in the middle of the room lay the mortal shell of Genjo Sanzo.  
  
The monks had washed the body, clad it in a new, clean robe and brushed the hair, yet despite their efforts, it still left the impression as though this person had been dead for weeks instead of mere days: The golden hair was dull and had fallen out in places, the fingers protruding from the sleeves were nothing but bones and sinew, the incredibly pale skin had an almost gray hue to it. Yet his gaunt features were oddly peaceful, displaying a kind of serenity that the monk had never shown in life.  
  
Hakkai, healer that he was, immediately recognized how Sanzo had died.  
  
"He didn't eat... for weeks," he breathed.  
  
The Abbot nodded sadly. "When he was finally so weak that they could force some food into him, it was already too late."  
  
A moment of silence passed before he seemed to want to say something more, but Gojyo spoke up first.  
  
"You should take the sutra off him – otherwise you'll burn it with him." His voice wavered ever so slightly at the word "burn", as he pointed at the scripture draped over the lifeless body's shoulders.  
  
The old monk shook his head, a sad smile on his lips.  
  
"No, everything is as it should be, young man. There won't be a successor to Genjo Sanzo."  
  
If he had not had their full attention before, this announcement definitely managed to capture it. Green and crimson eyes widened as the Abbot continued,  
  
"He was the last Sanzo dwelling in the mortal realms, the Maten sutra the last sutra to still exist here after the Gods recovered the other four scriptures from the ruins of Houtou castle. The Sanbutsushin decreed that it is to be sent back to the Heavenly lands, where the Halls of Tentei eagerly await its return. If the Gyuumaou-Experiment has taught us anything, then it is the fact that mortals cannot deal responsibly with the scriptures of Heaven. They shall be removed from Tougenkyou, so there will be no bloodshed over them anymore."  
  
Silence filled the room once more as the two young men returned their attention to the body, committing his likeness to memory one last time before his mortal shell would be reduced to ashes. Neither of them noticed that the old monk quietly left the room, giving them time to be alone with their companion..._  
  
When the announcement of Genjo Sanzo's death had reached the public, the whole region had joined the monastery in traditional mourning – he had not only been the highest ranked monk, but also one of the heroes who had saved Tougenkyou from the madness of the negative wave and the revival of Gyuumaou. Groves of people had visited the grave and left tokens of their appreciation, and everybody had been wearing white. At any given time, there had been more than ten people flocking around the grave in prayer.  
  
Hakkai and Gojyo, who had been the only non-clerical people to be permitted at the funeral, had preferred to mourn in the privacy of their own home; they knew the people meant well when they expressed their condolences to them, but it felt wrong to willingly accept them, if only because Sanzo probably would not have appreciated the attention his death received from the general public.  
  
But now the traditional mourning period was over, and since no one had really known the monk and everybody believed that such an exalted figure surely must have achieved Nirvana, nobody bothered to visit the gravesite anymore. Nobody but the two people who knew better.  
  
Hakkai spent a couple of minutes with cleaning the fallen flower petals off the grave and stacking the wilted stems on the side – the monks would later remove them. Neither he nor Gojyo had been raised in the Buddhist faith, but they knew that, if everything the religion proclaimed about rebirth was true, Sanzo had committed far too many sins to receive the final salvation of the soul. He would be reborn into a new vessel to try for a life without flaws again and again until his soul would someday succeed.  
  
After returning from the temple the day they had learned of Sanzo's death, they had spent hours wondering just why the monk had decided to part from life willingly. Had he just refused to eat because food reminded him of the always-hungry Goku? Had he wanted to end his uncontrollable rage in the only way he knew? Had he felt that his life had lost purpose after the journey had been completed and he had lost the person he had watched over for so long? Or had he longed to reunite with Goku, who had been, so Gojyo had mused, the extroverted part of himself in a way?  
  
There was no way for them to ever find out the ultimate reason, yet their musings had helped them to accept that it had indeed been Sanzo's wish to leave the realms of the living. Only now, as they stood in front of the grave in silence, both of them remembered how peaceful he had looked – the burdens of his existence lifted from him permanently, all pain and regrets forgotten.  
  
An expression of mild surprise crossed Hakkai's features when Gojyo spoke up quietly just as he had been about to do so himself.  
  
"Sanzo, I hope you find happiness wherever you turn up next – after all you've been through, you deserve it. And I hope you will find the monkey again. You might have denied any attachment to him while you were still with us, but all of us had seen through that mask a long time ago. Even he did. You two share a common destiny, I'm sure of that. And until you find him, watch out for yourself."  
  
Hakkai nodded silently, smiling; he could not have said it better. And for a single moment, the two remaining members of the famous Sanzo party, who had spent years on the road together to rid the world of a great evil, shared absolute certainty that everything they hoped for their friends would come true.  
  
-THE END-  
  
---------------------------------  
  
Here we go – the end of this story. Writing it was rather hard for me, since I never wrote a fanfic featuring the death of a character before. I hope this last chapter was worth the wait, and that the hope at the end was not too overdone. If you feel it was, feel free to tell me. If you have anything else to say about this story, go ahead, I am very happy about any kind of feedback received.  
  
I hope that I will find the time to tackle my next project sometime within the next week!  
  
My thanks go out to those of you who have reviewed the previous chapters – you have been a great help, and your comments have made me happy! Thank you for reading!  



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